{"id":30050,"date":"2026-10-02T00:11:51","date_gmt":"2026-10-02T00:11:51","guid":{"rendered":"urn:bikertrash-source:past\/cold-schmold.html"},"modified":"2026-10-08T23:11:38","modified_gmt":"2026-10-08T23:11:38","slug":"cold-schmold-archive-50","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/motorcyclesontheroadagain.com\/?p=30050","title":{"rendered":"Cold-schmold"},"content":{"rendered":"

Originally published:<\/strong> 2004
Original publication:<\/strong> BikerTrash.com
Original byline:<\/strong> Staff<\/p> Cold Shmold

I don’t really know what it is about riding my Harley. I can’t explain it and my wife thinks I’m nuts. It was 34 degrees on the day before Christmas Eve here in the Northwest. It was clear skies and beautiful at 6:00am when the alarm went off. It had been raining for about a month and I was desperate to get on my ride and go! <\/p>

I pulled on my jeans and found some thick socks at the bottom of the drawer. I looked at the ice on the neighbor’s cars and shivered with anticipation. What am I doing I thought. I’m gunna freeze my freaken’ nipples off! My car has such a nice heater . . . the biker in the back of my mind quietly said “wimp” and went back to thinkin’ about motor mods like he always does. I pulled on my tightest T-shirt, and then 4 more t-shirts. I zipped the liner into my jacket and cut the top off of an old beanie cap and pulled it down over my neck. I zipped, buttoned and belted every place I could. I felt like the Michelin man after Thanksgiving. <\/p>

I pulled my bike out of the garage (which was actually nicer than scraping the ice off of my windshield on the cage.) and fired her up. It took 4 times to get her out of her coma, but she finally lit up on full choke. I let her sit poppin just long enough to piss off the neighbors and clicked into gear and headed for I-5 South towards portland. <\/p>

The sweat that had built up under my collar (from being dressed like an Eskimo) began to freeze from the light wind of first gear. It was dry by the time I hit the onramp to I-5 and I was comfortable. I ran her through the gears and felt the wind crackle across my nose. After about 2 minutes at 70 miles per hour I felt like I just sucked down a gallon of blue slurpie in 1.3 seconds while wading in an arctic lake. Ouch!
ICE CREAM HEADACHE ! !<\/b> <\/p>

As I began to freeze, my legs started to tingle. I could feel them turning red from the knees up the thighs. My face numbed and the ice cream headache faded. I was now in the place that I loved to be – in the wind, with 40 miles of road winding through the trees of the Northwest and the Sun popping over Mt. Hood at my left. I could feel the people talking from their warm little boxes. “That guy is nuts”<\/i> they would say or “poor guy, his car must be broken”<\/i>. I would just smile and ride on enjoying my unobstructed view of the sunrays blasting through the green trees across the beautiful blue sky. No sun visor, no windshield wipers, no dashboard or rear view mirror in the way. <\/p>

I can’t explain it, but I still would rather ride any day, any time and any temperature. Go figure. <\/p>

Cornfed
Kalama, WA
<\/p>

Archive notice: This article is preserved from the original BikerTrash.com archive. It reflects information available at the time of publication. Please verify dates, locations, prices, links, and other details before relying on them.<\/small><\/p>\n\n\n

<\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Originally published: 2004Original publication: BikerTrash.comOriginal byline: Staff Cold Shmold I don’t really know what it is about riding my Harley. I can’t explain it and my wife thinks I’m nuts. It was 34 degrees on the day before Christmas Eve here in the Northwest. It was clear skies and beautiful at 6:00am when the alarm … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[153],"tags":[459],"class_list":["post-30050","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-spotlight","tag-sl006"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/motorcyclesontheroadagain.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30050","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/motorcyclesontheroadagain.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/motorcyclesontheroadagain.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/motorcyclesontheroadagain.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/motorcyclesontheroadagain.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=30050"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/motorcyclesontheroadagain.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30050\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":900606,"href":"https:\/\/motorcyclesontheroadagain.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30050\/revisions\/900606"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/motorcyclesontheroadagain.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=30050"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/motorcyclesontheroadagain.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=30050"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/motorcyclesontheroadagain.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=30050"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}